Today’s Goals and Jobs – 4/13/2016

Here are my goals and the jobs I’m working on for 4/13/2016. I see some new people have been commenting recently. Thanks much to new and old commenters! Remember to follow me on Twitter to get more updates.

What’s Going On:

Well, I didn’t really have a goal because of the internet issues, but I still got a ton translated:

Hinata x Orochi C

Hinata x Orochi B

Hinata  x Orochi  A

Hinata x Orochi S

Ophelia x Shalla C

Ophelia x Shalla B

Ophelia x Shalla A

Kamui (M) x Sakura C

Ignis x Nyx C

Ignis x Matoi C

Asama x Mozume C

Nyx Skinship Lines

Shigure Skinship Lines

As well, big news! I got a request to do a second game, which is Angelique for the SNES/SFC. So obviously Fire Emblem Fates will continue to be the main attraction until it’s done. Once it is done, Angelique will be the main project, but until then, when I have some free time, I’ll be working on it in spurts, so as not to conflict with Fire Emblem Fates. Look for the first Angelique translations sometime soon.

Today’s Goals

  • Clear up older translations and incorporate feedback to edit them as well catch up on the site. I did a lot of translations while I couldn’t access the internet because the material is on my hard drive, but since I couldn’t access the site, I couldn’t correct older translations. I got a lot of feedback in those two days as well, so I thought I’d take a day to catch up on the backlog.

Possible Complications: Still got paying work to do.

How you can help out: Well, there was a bevy of new translations posted today. Any feedback and criticism is welcome!

Jobs I Need Done

  • I will always and forever need people to comment on my translations as much they can.
  • Vote! It’s spoiler free. If you’re waiting for the translation patch, these polls aren’t going to ruin anything for you.
  • Speaking of feedback, we had discusses before how to do translations of the different personality types for Kamui, the player character. I decided in the end to put notes at the end of the translation if it didn’t affect a lot of lines and to put all three personalities/politeness types together if there were many, many lines that got affected. Take a look at Kamui (M) x Sakura to see how I did it and let me know if that seems like an okay approach.

As always, there’s a page to discuss matter with others or contact me about how they’d like to help out with the Fire Emblem Fates project. It’s been updated to a new page for April. You can use that page for April to discuss things with other members in a more general nature. Thank you for all the people who contacted me or contributed so far! Much love and respect! As well, don’t forget there’s also a page for you to request any kind of Japanese information you need, regardless of whether it’s about Fire Emblem Fates or not. This page has also been updated for April.

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Fire Emblem Fates Support Conversation: Kamui (M) x Sakura C

Please Note: The following material obviously spoils some of the story of Fire Emblem Fates. Please read responsibly at your own risk and do tell what you put in this lovely pot roast.

Here’s the support conversation between Kamui (M) x Sakura for the C level. (Original Japanese is included for reference and better transparency.) Please keep in mind that as the Japanese Kamui has three different politeness levels, only the lines where it makes something of a difference in the translation are noted below the complete translation, but the primary translation is the 僕 (B) personality.

Comments? Questions? Criticisms? Want to let me if I made a typo or if a better approach would work somewhere? Let me know in the comments below.

Translation start:

Kamui: Hey, Sakura! Ya doing okay? / カムイ: やあ、サクラ。元気かい?

Sakura: I’m … it’s … that is … yes. / サクラ: えと…あの…その………はい。

Kamui: O-oh? I sense some hesitation, you’re not coming down with something are you? / カムイ: あ、あれ? ちょっと間があったけど…ひょっとして、体調でも悪いのかい?

Sakura: No … that’s not it at all. My health is really … just fine. / サクラ: …いえ…違うんです。身体はとても…元気です。

Kamui: Oookay, then what’s wrong? … Could it be I’m not wanted here? / カムイ: じゃあどうしたの?…もしかして僕、嫌われてるのかな?

Sakura: N-no! It’s not that I hate you! / サクラ: そ、それも違います!カムイ兄様が嫌いなわけありません!

It’s just … I, well, talking face to face with someone … I’m not used to it … / ただ…私、人と面と向かってお話するのに…慣れてなくて…

Kamui: Oh, oh okay. Sorry to bother you then. / カムイ: そ、そうなんだ。ごめんね、突然話しかけちゃって。

Sakura:N-no … I should be the one to apologize. / サクラ: い、いえ…私こそごめんなさい。

My brother finally speaks to me and that’s all I can say. / せっかくカムイ兄様に声をかけていただいたのに。

Kamui: Well, it’s no big deal, really. But … that’s it! Since we’re talking now … / カムイ: いや、そんな大層なものじゃないよ。でも…そうだな。せっかくだから…

What if there was something I could maybe do to help you conquer your awkwardness when speaking up? / サクラの口下手を克服できるように、僕にも何かできることはないかな?

Sakura: ……. What? / サクラ: ……え?

Kamui: It can be pretty difficult to tackle the roots of an issue like this, but if the two of us practiced talking, I bet you’d start getting used to it and / カムイ: 根本的な解決はなかなか難しいだろうけど、二人で何度も会話すれば慣れるだろうし、

maybe, perhaps you might grasp how to talk to others? / サクラも人と話すコツが掴めるんじゃないかな?

Sakura:I’m not so sure about that … ? / サクラ: そ、そうでしょうか…?

Kamui: It’s settled! Practice over theory, ya know! Come on, let’s get started now! / カムイ: うん! 論より証拠だよ。早速やってみようよ。

End of 僕 (B) conversation.

Translation supplement – The following are the lines that change with a different politeness level for Kamui (M). The basic lines above are for the 僕 (B) personality. Below you will find 俺 (O) and 私 (W) where they have a meaningful enough change to make a difference in translation:
(W) Kamui: Hi, Sakura. Are you doing well? / カムイ: やあ、サクラさん。元気ですか?
(W) Kamui: Yes! Practice over theory is the way. Let’s get started as quickly as we can! / カムイ: ええ! 論より証拠です。早速やってみましょう。
(O) Kamui: Then what? … You don’t like me, is that it? / カムイ: じゃあどうした?…もしかして俺、嫌われてるのか?

Translation end!

Translation notes: It’s important to remember that Sakura came with a quick lie to cover her awkwardness here and she’s not actually bad at speaking with others. As for the personalities, as you can see, in some places, it does make a difference in the nuance the lines are spoken in. Have any recommendations or constructive criticisms on how to make it better?

If you want to see the Nintendo version, the Fire Emblem fans at Serene’s Forest have transcribed the official translation of this conversation here.

Changelog: None yet.

(Nintendo owns the copyright to Fire Emblem Fates/ Fire Emblem if and all material on this site is provided under fair use.)

Fire Emblem Fates Main Story – Chapter 0 Pre-Battle

Please Note: The following material obviously spoils some of the story of Fire Emblem Fates. Please read responsibly at your own risk and don’t let the devil see you eat that cupcake.

Edited to version 2.0 with reader feedback. (You can find the original version replicated below.) Here’s the pre-battle story scenes for the very first story chapter in the game.  (Original Japanese is included for reference and better transparency.)

Mid-battle scenes: not done yet. Please be patient!

Post-battle scenes: not done yet. Please be patient!

Comments? Questions? Criticisms? Want to let me if I made a typo or if a better approach would work somewhere? Let me know in the comments below.

Translation start:

Chapter 0 The Hand That Beckons Towards the Future / 無章 その手が拓く未来

Kamui dreamt. / カムイは夢を見た。
A mysterious dream / 敵も味方も自分を兄弟と呼ぶ
Where enemies and allies are known as brother and sister — / 不思議な戦いの夢ー
It would be the dream that / それはカムイの
Darkly hinted at Kamui’s impending fate. / 運命を暗示する夢でもあった。

[Opening Movie]

Two Swords, Black and White / 「黒白二剣」

Faintly drifting/ ユラリ ユルレリ
Upon the rising tide of thought, the scales swirl around / 泡沫 想い 巡る秤
Flowing through paths of water / 伝う 水脈
The hand that beckons toward tomorrow / その手が 拓く 未来(あす)は

Ryoma: Know me, for I am the first prince of Byakuya Kingdom, Ryoma! / リョウマ: 我こそは、白夜王国第一の王子、リョウマ!

Come, general of the Anya army, I challenge you to a duel on horseback! / 暗夜軍の将よ、一騎打ちを所望する!

Marx: And I am the first prince of Anya Kingdom, Marx. I accept your challenge. / マークス: 暗夜王国第一王子、マークス。一騎打ち、受けよう。

Your life shall be extinguished by the naked edge of my blade! / 我が剣の露と消えるがいい!

Translation end!

Translation notes: Man, Aqua’s song is hard to translate! 泡沫 (utakata) is often used as a poetic word to suggest the ephemeral and fleeting, fate and inevitably, and it literally means the top surface of the sea foam that washes upon the shore when the tide comes in. Keep in mind that unlike the title, Aqua’s song is referring to tomorrow specifically. I wonder if it wouldn’t be best to reverse it so it the first starts with, “The hand that beckons toward tomorrow is faintly drifting upon the rising tide of thought, as the scales swirl around, flowing through paths of water.”  Also, Marx’s comment … I’m not sure there’s any good translation for that, so I just try to give the same general feel rather than translate it literally … which would be a disaster. Have a better idea how to translate the rather poetic language in this pre-battle scene? Let me know in the comments below.

Changelog: 8/19/2016 Thanks to an extremely detailed discussion between Sirixu and Immahnoob that literally took me weeks of re-reading extensively to understand I think I’ve reached a better translation of Kamui’s original dream and corrected a mistake in the translation of Marx’s lines. Thanks very much to the both of them for their detailed feedback and back and forth. Additionally, some parts of have been changed to better reflect a more natural translation. There has been no need to change any lines for honorifics. The original version 1.0 lines, for safe-keeping are reproduced below:

Kamui dreamt.
It was a mysterious dream
Where brother and sister become enemy and ally —
That would the dream that
Hinted at the dark road of fate.

Your life shall be extinguished by the flash of my blade!

(Nintendo owns the copyright to Fire Emblem Fates/ Fire Emblem if and all material on this site is provided under fair use.)

Feedback: Main Character Personality/Politeness Choices and Edit Format

One thing that isn’t well known, but also has been cut from the overseas versions of Fire Emblem Fates is a feature wherein you can decide on three different personality/politeness types for your avatar and have it reflected in the dialogue for Kamui, the main player character.

This doesn’t change the plot or make for any branching dialogues or anything so sophisticated as that, but it does change the tenor of many a conversation. There are three basic personality/politeness types based on three different first-person pronouns in Japanese. 私 (watashi) for the most formal and polite, 僕 (boku) for a bit of the rustic, naive or hesitant personalities, and 俺 (ore) for the ruder, more forthright and straightforward type. I know that in English, there really isn’t much one can do to change the politeness level of a first-person pronoun, but this affects how Kamui speaks to characters and thus, something of a bit of his/her personality.

For instance, if Kamui is greeting say, Sakura, it can go three different ways. Observe:

私 (watashi) Kamui: Good afternoon, Sakura, how are you?

僕 (boku) Kamui: Hi Sakura, how’s it going?

俺 (ore) Kamui: Yo Sakura, what’s up?

My question was, how shall I approach uploading Kamui dialogues onto the site?

Approach 1:  Should I upload a different blog page for each politeness/personality type in every conversation it’s relevant in?

Approach 2:  Should I instead mark the three different variations, if there are ones (to be sure, it’s not every line this takes effect in) like above with say W-Kamui, B-Kamui, O-Kamui. Would that be too hard to read?

Approach 3:  Or perhaps we could decide on one standard and I could note variant lines underneath the standard we chose, so instead of:

End Translation

It would be:

Variants

And that’s where you would find whatever lines varied for the other two personalities/politeness types. For reference, watashi 私 is considered the standard in Japanese.

Or can you think of another way to do this? Let me know in the comments below. You can vote on an approach in this straw poll.

Now then. On to the next issue. Quite of a few of you have been kind enough to suggest changes to the script and make constructive criticisms. How shall I implement these? Keep in mind that small things like typos, spelling, sentence structure and grammar that don’t change the meaning will simply be implemented and noted with a changelog.

But for changes that actually change the tone, meaning or flow of the conversation on a more, shall we say, “debatable” level, what should I do?

Should I use strikethrough on my original writing and place the new line next to it for easy comparison?

Or should I provide the original line in a changelog somewhere outside the translation lines and keep the revised line nice and readable without any markups, so people can see what’s changed, but it’s also easy to read/copy?

And where should I place the changelog? At the top or the bottom of the page? If you could give me feedback on this and the personality/politeness conundrum, I’d greatly appreciate it. If you don’t feel like commenting below, you can also contact me at ryan of the stars at gmail dot com. (No spaces, replace with appropriate punctuation.) Thanks for any feedback! May the ravens smile upon you!